My name is Joke. I enjoy my proffession as caretake IG at a healthcare Facility with mentally disabled people. There is lots of multidisciplinary conversation in this facility.
In my spare time, i follow trainings and courses to take knowledge of different disabilitys and syptoms.
During my career i have worked together with S.A.R and i’ve started to grow interest in the connection between disabled people and intimicy.
Intimicy is ofthen msitaken for Sexuality. Doing what i do, is not at alla bout being sexually active, its about being intimate in a sincere way. Because mainly, people have a sincere need for intimicy. That means: Experiencing a fraction of love ein an intimite ambience.
Who are we?
I would like to tell you about the newly formed young organisation ‘Passieflower’ in whichi i take part. At the moment, there is one person who actulalie goes into the field to offer intimicy and care. In the background there is a team who realises this: a receptionist, people to give and get feedback,
people who are (or have been) active in this field aswell. So theres a group active too keep passieflower present and qualitative.
We believe that every person deserves tob e happy. And with that, that everyone deserves to experience love and intimicy. That means: also people who reside in the, what i call ‘vulnerable group’. This group contains, for instance, metally and physically disabled people, wether they were
Disabled before or after their birth. But also elders, and people in psychiatry.
We ai mto take care fort his group of vulnerable people, by providing intimicy and the feeling of love and care. We do this with a cealr notion that we are only just a connecting link.
We meet people at their home and give them intimicy which comparese tot heir needs. But Only, untill they’ve found their counterpart. Untill they’ve found a partner who replaces us and takes over our functon of giving love and support. It is important to be aware that these people also want a relationship with someone. I go into a temperary form of a relationship with them, untill they’ve found someone that fits them.
I momentarily work with about 35 people. What i do, I build a bond which seems like a relationship, so they get to go through what its like to experience true, sincere care. In this, i do not, or barely put the accent on the technical aspect of sexuality. It is there, but its less important that the mental intimicy.
It is very interesting to look at what I do to realise an interhuman relationship at that level. First, i take knowledge of the disability, and next, i look beyond it. Is a client authistic or has he got a disability that came in the course of his life. Thats a huge difference, and requires different ways of attention.
but evenso, the core of my treatment remains the same: to get into contact with the client, and realise true, real care. What i do, is thinking to myself, that i have a sincere relationship with this person, while realising that i’m just making them ready, preparing them for a réal relationship.
Its important for everyone to know, that i am not ‘fooling’ them. My clients all realise what it truly is what i do for them, and that it is and remains a temporary function. Someone like me is not enough fort hem. They have the need for intensity with a true partner that doenst only show care fort hem once a month, for 1 ½ hours, but someone that can be there fort hem anytime. They àlso long for real love and intimicy. All that i offer is a compensation for a relationship of 2 people who are in love and connected. I help them to kill their lonelyness when they need it, often only just by sincerely being there for them.
This has the effect that people get really, innerly happy. The idea of me coming to their place already enlightens them, and when i leave the house they shine in thankfullness of being treated as a true human being.
With what kinds of people do i work.
I work with elders and people with disabilities, mentally or physically, whether born with it or not. Every one of my clients and their disabilities have need for different ways of treatment, so you need to know some pracctical facts beforehand, and need to have the sense to adapt to it aswell.
2.. Mental disabilities which came into existence later on in someone’s life. These people had ónce had the capacity to think and act in a ‘normal’ way. Interacting with these clients requires a more grown-upe take, even though he has a mental disability.
3. Autism. Not really good in social contact, and prefers not to be touched. Just try to imagine how to get in contact with someone like that. How do you share intimicy? Note that despite their stance, they do have bodily needs.
This is an interesting one. Some times you are simply present. You are there but you are not allowed to touch someone. In this case, someone could take care of his own intimite experience without me interfering, while still having the feeling of ‘together’ and ‘relationship’.
Long story short: All my clients have a need for intimite contact, but everyone of them, in their own way, with their own specific needs.
Passieflower in the future.
At this time, focus lies only on ‘intimite care’, but in the future we want to realise the next 2 things.
This last one i would like to talk about first:
besides Passieflower providing care on intimite levels, our goal always remains to increase the relationship-experience of the clients. Stepping from 1. Fulfilling my function to 2. Finding a réal relationship for my clients is still a very big step. It is an undiscovered area which i am discovering bit by bit, experience by experience. I aim to widen the possibilities for my clients on this level. I want to find or create ways for them to find eachóther and maybe get into relationships.
The other theme Passieflower would like to focus on in the near future, is expanding the proffession, if i may call it that.
We would want to bundle all the knowledge about this occupaton. There is a lot to share and discover about it, but there is no place where the information, insights and experiences are shared and bundled. Passieflower has set a goal to retreive this knowledge, to turn this occupation into a strong, funded proffession.
Everyone has a feeling for intimite connection. Mentally or Physically. Everyone has a need for it, in their own way.
, Some people get to find it. Some people dont.
But everyone deserves it. And thats where i come in.
Thank you for your attention.
KvK nummer: Desgewenst opvraagbaar bij Joke W
06 - 307 444 61